10 ‘insane’ things the world’s most successful people do

I recently read a book named ‘Black Hole Focus’, by an American author, Isaiah Hankel – and it blew my mind.

It discusses how intelligent people behave and think, in order to create a powerful purpose for their lives.

Turns out, the world’s most successful people have what would be described by today’s doctors as ‘mental health problems’

Black-Hole-Focus-e1400412310777

But are these people mentally ill? Or are they so emotionally aware of their behavior that they know how exactly how to use it in order to succeed?

Take a look at 10 clinically insane things the world’s most successful people do.

1. Have delusions of grandeur.

If somebody says you’re arrogant or big-headed, it’s usually a sign that you’re destined for success.

In psychology, a delusion of grandeur is the fixed, false belief that one possesses superior qualities such as genius, fame, omnipotence, or wealth.

It is often a symptom of schizophrenia, but can also be a symptom of bipolar disorders or certain forms of dementia like Alzheimer’s.

People with a delusion of grandeur often believe they have a great talent or knowledge, that others don’t understand or appreciate. When people challenge their beliefs – they don’t back down.

The paradox here is that a lot of the world’s most successful people also have this symptom. Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, were all told their ideas would never work, but they believed they would be successful and told the world how incredible their ideas were.

The notion ‘thoughts become things’ applies here. You have to see yourself as being the best-  even if it seems crazy given your current situation.

Never let other people destroy your delusions of grandeur.  You were meant for greatness. It’s only a delusion until you become great.

2. Have breaks with reality.

Ever find yourself drifting off for what feels like a two-second daydream – but is actually half an hour?

Maladaptive daydreaming is a condition that was first described by a guy named Eli Somer. The disorder is characterized by compulsive fantasizing that replaces human interaction.

Successful people are constantly escaping from their current reality. They do this by creating a vision for where they want to go, what they want to do, or who they want to be. And then they visit their vision over and over again until it becomes a reality. Of course, they take a lot of action too.

Breaks with reality are necessary for anyone trying to get ahead. Don’t stop creating new visions for your life. Fantasies are your greatest assets. Hold on to them. Make them real.

 

3. Suffer from depression

Depression, although tough – can be useful. Letting yourself sink into a temporarily sad state has a lot of value in the long run.

The pain you feel can be used as motivation – and the release of negative energy can make you better than you ever imagined.

The key is to make sure that you don’t sit in your sad state but that you find a release.

I used to sit and feel sorry for myself when I was going through a hard time. But now I don’t. Instead, I accept it and I embrace it. I leverage it. I use the pain as motivation for the next day. And instead of trying to work through it or force myself to be happy, I’ll entertain it by reading something mellow or by watching something sad.

Low points provide momentum. They keep the pendulum swinging so that another high point can be reached. Don’t try to avoid the low points, embrace them when they come and use them to set goals for improvement.

4. They put the needs of others over their own

Successful people experience intense bouts of loneliness. They usually think people will never understand them or their dreams.

To make themselves feel accepted, successful people often develop co-dependent relationships with their clients, employees, and other successful people.

Codependency involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.

This can often be a bad thing, especially in relationships – but what if the person whose needs you are putting above your own is your client, employee, or collaborator?

Successful people know the value of giving before getting. They’ll allow themselves to enter into a kind of co-dependent relationship with other people by putting their needs last.

The difference is that these successful people remain self-reliant. They are able to serve without losing control.

5. Obsess over things

Tesla, who worked closely with Thomas Edison, was heavily involved in the discovery and use of radio waves, computers and electricity.

Tesla made so many discoveries that some historians refer to him as: the man who invented the 20th century.

But, the genius also suffered from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. He was a severe germaphobe and refused to touch anything bearing the slightest hint of dirt.

He also refused to touch anything round, which made his engineering work pretty difficult.

Tesla was obsessed with the number three. Before entering a building, he would walk three times around the block. When staying in hotels, he insisted on a room number divisible by three. At each meal, he would use 18 napkins and have them placed in three stacks of six.

Obsessive-Compulsiveness can be crippling and many people with the Disorder absolutely need medication to function.

But, some people, are just mildly obsessive and compulsive. And many of these people are able to use their OCD tendencies to be more productive and successful – if they are obsessing over the right things.

6. Excessively flirt.

Fancy yourself as a bit of flirt? Here’s how to use it on the path to success.

The American Psychiatric Association defines histrionic personality disorder (HPD) as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive attention-seeking that includes inappropriately seductive behavior and an excessive need for approval.

People affected by HPD are lively, dramatic, vivacious, enthusiastic, and flirtatious.

Successful people are master attention-seekers – and they have to be. The world is being de-industrialized. Massive medical device manufacturers like Beckman Coulter who create products that literally save people’s lives are being sold for 6.8 billion while mobile text-messaging Apps like WhatsApp are being sold for 19 billion.

If you don’t know how to get attention,  you and your business won’t survive.

7. Talk to themselves.

Do you ever think something in your head – without realising it’s actually coming out of your mouth? Don’t worry – it’s doing you the world of good.

Studies by Gary Lupyan and Daniel Swignley published in the Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology show that talking to yourself, or using “self-directed speech”, triggers mental pictures that can help you function better.

If you see someone talking to themselves, don’t assume they’re crazy. They might just be successful. For example, Oprah, Will Smith, and Jim Carrey all talk to themselves.

In one experiment, they showed two groups of people different objects and asked them to find just one — a banana. One group was instructed to repeat out loud what they were looking for and the other group was instructed to be silent. The group who talked to themselves found the banana faster than those who didn’t.

Another study from Carnegie Mellon University published in PLOS ONE showed that positive self-directed talk, or “self-affirmations”, can protect against the damaging effects of stress on problem-solving performance.

If you see someone talking to themselves, don’t assume they’re crazy. They might just be successful. For example, Oprah, Will Smith, and Jim Carrey all talk to themselves.

8. Throw it all away

At the height of his fame, MC Hammer’s net worth was valued at around $33 million. The only problem was he was spending $500,000 a month on his lifestyle.

Expenses included the mortgage on his $10 million mansion, the maintenance and upkeep on 17 luxury cars, and the acquisition and care of 21 racehorses. When he eventually filed for bankruptcy in 1996, he claimed only $1 million in assets and $10 million in debt.

After his superstar status plummeted, he created a handful of record labels, has dabbled in tech start-ups and is currently the CEO of Alchemist Management, a Los Angeles-based athlete management firm.

He has more than three million followers on Twitter and teaches social media and marketing at Stanford University and Harvard University.

Many of the most successful people in business are a little bit ‘suicidal’, but not in the physical sense.

They’re suicidal in the sense that they’re willing to risk everything in order to keep moving forward. This suicidal tendency – the courage to throw it all away — gives them a lot of leverage.

Successful people know that things like their health, relationships, and experiences are the only things that should be protected. Everything else can be thrown away.

9. Torture themselves.

Successful people make their lives hell. But this is actually a good thing – especially as new research shows that worriers live longer.

Consider this: the results of Howard Friedman and Leslie Martin’s famous longevity study, which tracked 1500 people for almost 100 years, found that sacrificing work-life balance to things like a torturous work project or an extremely difficult personal goal helped individuals live longer. People who lived part of their life way out of balance to achieve something important lived longer than people who lived well-balanced lives. In fact, there wasn’t a single exception to this rule in the study.

Stress — the right kind of stress — is like a miracle drug. Don’t shy away from it.

10. Socially Withdraw

Robert James “Bobby” Fischer is considered by many to be the greatest chess player of all time.

Starting at age 14, Fischer played in eight United States Championships, winning each one by at least a one-point margin. At age 15 he became the youngest grandmaster ever, and at age 20 he won the  U.S. Championship with the only perfect score in the history of the tournament. In the 1970’s he won the World Chess Championship.

Then, in 1975, he became a recluse and disappeared for almost 20 years.

Many of the world’s most successful people have experienced social anxiety at one time or another. As a result, some withdraw permanently at the height of their success,  Emily Bronte, the author of Wuthering Heights, and J.D. Salinger, the author of The Catcher and the Rye.

Others, like Quentin Tarantino, Eminem, and Ernest Hemingway, withdraw temporarily to do creative work and then reappear when the work is ready to be promoted.

Temporary isolation is an important ingredient to success. Finding time away from other people and their opinions will give you a chance to develop your own original work.

Creativity flourishes in privacy. But then it needs to be released. Don’t feel bad for withdrawing from time to time. Just make sure that you come back and are always there for the people closest to you.

Credit: https://www.isaiahhankel.com/successful-people

Do you do any of these things? Leave your comments below.

Advertisements

Trick or treat? The Japanese Horror Secret Supper Club at Cottonopolis

Walking through a secret tunnel, the walls decked with overgrown ivy, we were greeted by an overly friendly, rather creepy gentleman dressed in a tailored suit and top hat, who appeared to be from the Victorian era.

“Welcome, welcome”, he said grinning from ear to ear, “I hope you’re ready for an eventful night.”

Welcome to the Japanese Horror Secret Supper Club. Let the games begin.

A long dining table created the room’s centerpiece, decorated with candles and a velvet, red and gold table runner. There were eerie photos of children on the walls, and old televisions stacked upon each other at the entrance.

Around thirty people were seated, all a little bit anxious, and totally unsure of what to expect. How scary could this actually be?

There was a real buzz of anticipation in the air, as we all waited for the evening to commence.

fireJPG

“Silence!”, the Victorian gentleman shouted sternly. “I would like to welcome you all here tonight, but make you aware – we are not alone.”

He pointed to the photo of a young boy on the wall named ‘Nico’, and before we knew it, we were entwined in a tale of dark mystery.

As the evening heated up, our dishes began to arrive. It was a six-course menu with a wine flight to compliment.

The food was incredible, each dish immaculately presented – with a taste to match.

During the evening, we were served Frogs Legs Katsu, with black garlic puree, chive oil, and smoked garlic. This was the second course on the menu, and although it may not sound like everyone’s cup of tea, it was truly delicious.

We heard the tale of ‘Nico’, a lost spirit who was murdered by his parents, looking for revenge.

This was better than a night at the theatre, and we were all really immersed in the show.

file-1

As the spooky entertainment continued, we were also served  Pan Roasted Brill with Kabocha and Squid Ink Ponzu. The brill was so soft and delicate it literally melted in our mouths. The sharp kick of the squid ink really gave this dish a punch, too.

Whilst this was a real treat, the tricks didn’t go amiss at this point of the night – as we were greeted by the evil spirit from horror movie ‘The Ring’ who seemingly popped out of a TV on the wall.

It’s a good job the fish was completely boneless, or else I would have choked.

file3-1

As the evening got juicy, the meals got meatier – and next we were given Wagyu Steak with Claret Jus, Wasabi Asparagus, and Tomato Dashi.

The steak was faultless. Cooked to perfection. The whole dish worked incredibly well – and it’s just a shame they don’t serve this on the main menu.

More surprises popped up, too, from loud bangs on the walls, to creepy music playing in the background.

It really made the evening feel electric.

file4

For dessert,  we had Spiced Red berries withwed  White Chocolate, Marshmellow and Shisho.

By this point I was completely stuffed – and we’d just been asked to do a group seance – which diverted my attention.

I did give it a go though, and I must say, the sweet and sharp combination of berries and chocolate had my tastebuds dancing on the table.

At around midnight, the evening drew to a close, and at this point everyone was feeling very full – and even a little tipsy from the wine.

The entertainment, the theatre, and of course, the food, was fantastic – and I’d highly recommend going to one of these events.

Cottonopolis will host another Secret Supper later in the summer, with a different theme and a new, delicious menu.

The whole night is priced at £45, however there’s also an option to include a drinks flight, which includes cocktails.

Keep an eye out – visit www.cottonopolis-nq.com .

If you have perfect eyebrows – you could be a narcissist

Obsessed with having ‘on fleek’ brows? Turns out it could say a lot about your personality…

A new study revealed that people who obsessively groom their eyebrows are more likely to be narcissists.

We’ve all heard the term ‘narcissist’ but what does it actually mean – and where on earth does this evidence come from?

According to Psychology Today, a 2018 study by researchers has determined that people can recognise a narcissist by the distinctiveness of their eyebrows.

What does this mean?

The research found that people who take extreme care of their eyebrows can be associated with extraversion, arrogance, entitlement, dominance, and aggression.

These are recognised personality traits of a narcissist.

Though narcissists can be likable at first, they lose some of their charm once it becomes clear that they are more interested in attracting attention and admiration, and much less interested in intimacy and other aspects of a fulfilling relationship.

Why?

Because they have a strong desire for admiration and recognition and, as a result, might “seek to maintain distinct eyebrows to facilitate others’ ability to notice, recognize, and remember them; thereby increasing their likability and reinforcing their overly positive self-views.”

Plucking, waxing, coloring, Botox injections, and permanent tattooing are some examples of how people attempt to accentuate the fullness and the arch of the brow.

And given that narcissists are very competitive and often successful in finding a sexual partner, their eyebrows could “signal this prowess to others.”

How did they find this out?

The researchers, Giacomin and Rule, asked participants to look at images of faces and asked them to recognise a person with narcissistic qualities. The participants did just this – and were even able to detect narcissism even in upside-down faces.

The researchers then found that the cues to identifying a narcissist were all in the eye region — specifically, the eyebrows.

This next bit gets a bit complicated…

Psychology today states: “Using image manipulation, they confirmed their results, observing that a non-narcissist donning a narcissistic person’s brows was judged as more narcissistic, and that a narcissistic person viewed with a non-narcissist’s brows was judged as less narcissistic.

“They further discovered that people considered femininity, grooming, and distinctiveness in judging the presence of narcissism in target faces. But only distinctiveness was related to accurate judgments.”

What do you think? 

Do we really have three loves in a lifetime?

I recently read an article online that I wanted to share. It explores the idea of love and what it can teach us.

Reading it, my heart began to beat a little faster and I even felt my eyes fill up with tears. I could relate to it.

Kate Rose from Elephant Journal, says we only fall in love with three people in a lifetime and each love is for a different reason.

I don’t know if there’s any evidence to support it, but I like the notion behind it.

I like the idea that we learn from love – and just because we lose love, it doesn’t mean we don’t deserve it, it just means we need to grow.

Here’s what she says.

Our first love is said to happen while we are young.

“For example, high school type young. You are young and don’t know much about love, apart from what you’ve deciphered in the movies. You know that there are feelings, fights, and bedroom activities, but apart from that, you aren’t really sure what love is all about.

“This is the naive kind of love, the impractical, movie-esque type of love. It’s what you think is right by the standards you know from movies and the standards you know from society. We begin this love with the belief that this will be our only love, and we begin planning a future in our minds around that notion.

“And it doesn’t matter if in your heart it doesn’t feel quite right, or if you are planning a future you can’t truly imagine yourself, because, in our make-believe minds, we see that this is what love is supposed to be like.

“To us, with this kind of love, how others perceive us and what they see of the relationship is more important to us than how we actually feel about it. With this love, you will find yourself posting constantly about how much fun you are having with one another. You will post about eating mediocre dinner and watching a show as the most amazing time of your life. This is because you need others to view your relationship as magical and perfect.”

Our second love is said to be our hard love.

“It’s the love that teaches us lessons about who we are, what we want from relationships and the kind of love we truly want.

“Unfortunately, this love is not so much a happy one. This love hurts and brings you pain, oftentimes from the little untruths and other times through manipulation, usually the emotional kind. The second love is usually unbalanced and unhealthy and can be selfish and narcissistic. Due to these facts, there is almost always drama, and you become trained to think that it is your fault.

“You feel guilty for always being around them, even though you know that this is what you need. Being continuously around them can still not give you what you want to feel, and you believe that you are not loved enough because they are not giving you the kind of love you are looking for. Yet, instead of giving up on the relationship, you hang on, thinking that one day suddenly everything will change and they will realize how desperately they love you.

“This emotional swing of extreme highs and lows is exactly what keeps us addicted to this kind of unhealthy relationship. We push through the lows, no matter how bad they are, to get a slight tingling feeling from those wonderful highs.
With the second love, pushing to make it work becomes more imperative than whether it actually should.”

Our third love is said to be the love we don’t see coming.

“This is the love that we never considered in the past. It’s different and new, we’ve never dated this kind of person before. The third love is the kind that comes too easy, and it doesn’t seem possible. You think that it won’t last, you are bound to stumble on something that will create a bump in the road. At times, it occurs right after a major heartbreak, and you’re thinking that the same thing will happen again because, in your past, it has.

“At first, you can’t explain the connection. What is it about this person that draws you to them so much? Here, we meet someone and, surprisingly enough, it just fits. There is no difficult compromises, no pushing and shoving. You both seem to work out together, and somehow the way you live your life flows well with the way they live theirs.

“And that’s what makes your two lives come together into one. Your life together is exactly how you wanted love to be. The third love is easy, you both work hard to keep it going, to keep your relationship and your love as magnificent as it already is. And with both of you putting in the work, you don’t feel like you are the only one pulling the carriage like you felt in your second love.

“Sometimes it is 50/50, and other times it is 20/80. They love you enough to carry you on your bad days, and you love them enough to support them on their rough ones. You don’t feel the need to constantly advertise your happiness. And, you know what? Sometimes, you’re not happy. Sometimes, they are not happy. But that doesn’t mean that it is the end of the relationship. You come together with your unhappiness and try to solve it. You sit together and you talk, yell, sing, draw, what have you, and you solve whatever problem comes around.

“Because that’s what love is, it’s making things work because you love one another and want to be together.

This is the kind of love that reveals to us why everyone else left the picture.”

What to wear to a summer gig

I went to see Taylor Swift last night in Manchester. It was at the Etihad Stadium, which if you aren’t familiar with, is mostly an outdoor venue.

I had NO idea what to wear.

 

My friend and I planned to go to some bars after the gig, so I needed something that could fit the bill for two occasions.

If we weren’t going out, it would have been way easier – and jeans and a cool, slonan tee would have been my go-to choice.

It was also 22 degrees which meant it would be wrong not to reach for a dress – but then what shoes? Heels do not go down well in a stadium of over 50,000 passionate teenage girls.

Here’s what I opted for.

This cute, frill playsuit was an absolute steal at £36 from River Island. It’s girly, bright, and not too OTT for a gig, but also still fine to wear to a bar.

When it came to shoes, I thought about sandals – then I thought ‘nope’. I do not want black toes for the rest of the summer.

I threw a pair of white pumps in the washer and hoped they’d come out gleaming. Thankfully, they did.

These cost me just £20 from New Look.

I know people get hung up on wearing designer trainers, but I think when you’re trying to rock them with a feminine outfit – a nike tick just isn’t appropriate. And lets face it, I can’t afford a pair of LV’s.

I wore some anklets I bought from Primark for £3 to finish the look off. I think these added a touch of boho which I really liked.

When it came to my hair I wanted to keep it simple, nothing too fussy and nothing that was hard to maintain throughout the night.

I recently bought a GHD wave stick which is AMAZING. It cost £120 from Selfridges but it gives a really soft, natural look – a bit like beach waves.

It takes no time at all, as you can use really large sections of your hair, and I didn’t even have to section it.

I’m pretty set in my ways when it comes to makeup. I’ve used the same products for over three years.

On my skin, I used MAC strobe cream as a primer, which gives a soft, dewy glow. I really recommend it if you have dull or dry skin.

Then I used Clinique Beyond Perfect foundation. This is quite thick so you don’t really need to use a lot.

Under my eyes I use MAC Pro Longwear concealer. I always give this a few minutes to set in my skin before blending – and it literally makes my dark circles vanish.

On my lips, I always use the same lipstick – and surprisingly it’s a Rimmel product. I must admit I’m a bit of a snob when it comes to using high street cosmetics, but this shade is perfect for me and no other lipstick looks as good.

It’s called ‘Heather Shimmer’ and is literally about a fiver.

I have quite big eyes, so I like to accentuate them with winged eyeliner. It’s taken me years to master this – but I think I’m finally about there. I finish off with a layer of mascara, which is from Benefit.

I love accessories but I’m always conscious of going overboard, especially when wearing prints.

I wore my favourite personalised necklace. It’s from a brand called Sipsmiths I found in Selfridges.

You choose what words/letters you want to be engraved on the gold bar and pick from a collection of hearts, stars, and shapes to add on.

The necklace cost me around £90, but it can be cheaper if you choose a smaller bar.

We had the best night! Check out my insta for some Tay Tay footage @ thelunarbabe

My pumps didn’t quite survive though….

Could running be a form of therapy?

‘Why do you run so much? Does it not get boring?’

I get asked that a lot. The answer is no. I love to run, it’s one of my favourite things to do.

I run most nights during the week and usually head out early on a Saturday morning. I run for around an hour after work and usually a little longer on the weekends.

mile1

Why, you ask?

To keep fit? To lose weight? To look good?

Partly, partly not. 

I run to relax.

Now there’s an oxymoron.

Let me explain.

When I tie my laces and put my headphones in – I feel disconnected from the world. It’s an hour of my day that completely belongs to me, and I love that.

It’s MY time; time to think, time to reflect, time to evaluate. But sometimes, it’s my time to not think, to zone out, to meditate.

I see running as a form a therapy, not a chore or an exercise. Running gives me the chance to take some time out – to truly disconnect – allowing me to reconnect in calm, positive mood.

If I’m having a bad day I go for a run, and sometimes when I get back I see things in a different light. If I’m having a good day and I go for a run, I use the time to reflect on how grateful I am.

I often go into a trance – I forget what I’m doing. I daydream, I fantasise, I let my mind wander – I really believe I remove myself from the real world.

Other times when I’m struggling to disconnect, I take the time to notice my surroundings. Whether it be the way the houses I run past are built, or the old man I always see at the bus stop, who’s finally started to smile back at me.

It’s funny what you notice when you take the time to really look.

mile 3

We all know running releases endorphins which make us happy, and I think that plays a major role in why I do it, too. It makes me feel good. I could be sat at home watching Come Dine With Me eating chocolate cake- which sometimes, I admit we all need to do.

But doing something that’s chemically good for your mind, body, and well being is important, and I think we should all try and give it a go – especially when we aren’t feeling great.

I’m not saying running is for every one.

Some people will never enjoy it, but a lot of people do, and the more you do it the better you’ll become.

At one time I couldn’t even run up the stairs without breaking a sweat, but I wanted to try something new and I was determined to succeed.

mile 2

Running improves mental strength

You might think running is simply a form of physical exercise, but believe me when I say it’s so much more than that.

To run for a long period of time, or to keep going when your knees are weak and you’re tired, requires a lot of determination.

The more you go out, the more you’re testing your mental strength. You train your mind to believe you ‘can’ do it- and you won’t stop regardless of how you feel.

Why I run marathons?

I ran my third marathon this year and smashed my personal best. I’ve been running for five years – and 26 miles never gets easier.

I said to a friend the other day: “It was like taking a ride on an emotional roller coaster.”

I went from feeling pumped, excited, and energetic, to weak, tearful, and angry. Then I felt motivated again, then I felt proud, determined and passionate.

It was exhausting. On my body – yes. On my mind – hell, yes.

mile 4

So, is it worth it?

The sense of accomplishment is surreal and knowing you’ve pushed passed so many barriers proves how strong you are.

To do something you know is going challenge you, and possibly even break you, then succeeding, is a million dollar feeling.

Nothing can beat that.

26 things I’ve learned at 26

 

Coffee is life

I’d rather go without lunch than without coffee; the stronger the better.  I can easily knock back four cups before 11am…

Then sit at my desk with twitching eyes and jittering fingers, looking like I’m having some kind of seizure.

giphy (21)

I can’t eat crap and stay thin

Gone are the days of having a metabolism faster than Mo Farah. No longer can I eat my way through 8000 calories and fit in size 8 Topshop skinny jeans. Hello Pure Gym.

giphy (22).gif

I started to care about serious things – like tax and insurance

Mainly because I feel like half of my salary is scooped by the tax man – But I actually have no idea why I pay it or how I benefit?

giphy

Erm? A little help.

jenifer lawrence

Washing and drying my clothes is hard work

How do people work a full time job – and remember to take their clothes out of the washing machine before they start smelling like their estranged uncle Bill? As for people who have kids – I bow down to you.

cat gif

I’ll also never be able to iron a white shirt

I could iron for an hour and the shirt would still be creased. If I was a man, I’d have to seriously consider my occupation. Builders don’t wear white shirts, right? How do office boys deal with this shit everyday?

monkey

I can’t dance to save my life

I’ve finally started to accept that I cannot dance. I’m stiff, awkward and have zero rhythm. I never know what to do with my hands – so I make sure I hold a drink and a clutch bag at all times. Once described as Tinkerbell on acid.

giphy (1)

Failure is key

In my 20s I’ve failed a lot – jobs, relationships, friendships. I’ve made a lot of mistakes – and I’ve owned up to them.

giphy (2)

And I’ll keep failing

I’m starting to realise that failure is vital. I need to fail.  When things seem like they are majorly fucking up, I always remember a quote from Thomas Edison – who I think invented the light bulb?

He said: ““I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Reckon I’m on at least 9,000 now. I’ve got to be nearly there.

giphy (3)

But I’ve learned a lot

Without failing, how will I ever learn?

giphy (4)

I’ve learned how to empathise

A few years ago if somebody did something I didn’t like, I would have had a raging tantrum and then cried because things weren’t going my way. But now, I try to understand why people do things – and why I don’t like it.

giphy (5)

However, there are some things I will just never understand

Human behaviour is unpredictable, and I’ve learned that you can’t control what other people think, what other people say, or what they do – you can only react – so make that count.

giphy (6)

 

I like gin way too much

Pink gin, rhubarb gin, Hendricks, Bloom, Bombay. Bathe me in gin and drown me in tonic. Gin is the only spirit that works for me. Vodka turns me into a lunatic, wine makes me cry, but gin just hits my sweet spot.

giphy (2)

The thought of having a child terrifies me

I see girls my age with children and wonder how they do it. The thought of being responsible for a tiny human being terrifies the hell out of me. I can’t even make toast without burning it, and it takes me a good 90 minutes to get dressed.

giphy (8)

There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ time

When I was 18, I imagined that by 25 I’d be engaged, living with the love of my life, in our own house, with a cute dog.

giphy (9)

That didn’t quite go to plan

But I’ve realised there is no limit on time, things will happen when they are supposed to, you’ve just got to let it be.

giphy (10)

My circle got smaller

I also don’t have half as many friends as I did when I was 18, but the friends I do have are really valuable. They’ve stuck around from the beginning and will stay in my life forever.

giphy (11)

Uni students don’t realise how easy uni is

I see uni students posting about the stress of exams and dissertations and I think ‘I would do anything to be you again’. It’s easy at uni – you either pass or you fail. You know whether you are right or wrong, there is an answer. Things aren’t so defined in the real world.

giphy (12).gif

I spend 75% of my spare time looking at holidays

I want to go to Iceland, Croatia, I want to travel in Thailand, and sip cocktails in the maldives. I want to go EVERYWHERE.

giphy (13).gif

Not Ibiza though. Ever.

The days of wanting to get f*cked up for 7 nights are well and truly over. I want a beach, I want relaxation, I want solitude. I don’t want to be surrounded by wannabe’s sharing a bottle of Laurent Perrier between 10 and taking selfies. *Vomits*

giphy (14).gif

I like doing stuff on a Sunday

Sunday used to be the day I lay in bed with a MASSIVE hangover crying as I watched Titanic for the 15,000 time.

Now, I’d rather wake up not feeling like a slug that’s just rolled in salt, and actually do something awesome.

giphy (15).gif

I no longer think taking a photo of my Pret a Manger lunch is cool

Paying £6 for a takeaway sandwich does not impress me, it offends me. Now, I’d rather take my own lunch to work and save up to go on one of the 15 holidays I’ve mentally planned – either that or buy a nice candle.

giphy (16).gif

And people who take selfies with dog filters are ridiculous

I don’t even need to explain this one.

giphy (17)

Wearing tiny skirts doesn’t make you sexy

I’m all in favour of the phrase ‘If you’ve got it, flaunt it’, and I’m not shy to show a bit of leg. However, I no longer think women need to wear a tiny skirt and a low cut top to be sexy. The glamour model era is over. Intelligence is sexy, humour is sexy – bleach blonde hair and double D’s aren’t essential.

giphy (18).gif

And wearing six inch heels is a definite no no

I remember when I was 17 and went to my first night club. I wore the highest heels I could find, and I could not walk in them to save my life. My knees were bent, and my toes were crushed, and I took them off by 1am.

Pass me a pair of pumps and let me have a good time. High heels are now saved for nights that require minimal walking.

giphy (19)

Living for the present is the best thing to do

I used to get hung up on the past and worry about the future. At 26, I realise that I can’t change the past and I can’t predict what;s going to happen- but what I do today will shape tomorrow, and what I do next week will effect next month. It’s all about taking each day as it comes, and enjoying every moment while you still can.

giphy (20)

P.S – If you liked this please share it 🙂

Love Hol x