Coffee is life
I’d rather go without lunch than without coffee; the stronger the better. I can easily knock back four cups before 11am…
Then sit at my desk with twitching eyes and jittering fingers, looking like I’m having some kind of seizure.
I can’t eat crap and stay thin
Gone are the days of having a metabolism faster than Mo Farah. No longer can I eat my way through 8000 calories and fit in size 8 Topshop skinny jeans. Hello Pure Gym.
I started to care about serious things – like tax and insurance
Mainly because I feel like half of my salary is scooped by the tax man – But I actually have no idea why I pay it or how I benefit?
Erm? A little help.
Washing and drying my clothes is hard work
How do people work a full time job – and remember to take their clothes out of the washing machine before they start smelling like their estranged uncle Bill? As for people who have kids – I bow down to you.
I’ll also never be able to iron a white shirt
I could iron for an hour and the shirt would still be creased. If I was a man, I’d have to seriously consider my occupation. Builders don’t wear white shirts, right? How do office boys deal with this shit everyday?
I can’t dance to save my life
I’ve finally started to accept that I cannot dance. I’m stiff, awkward and have zero rhythm. I never know what to do with my hands – so I make sure I hold a drink and a clutch bag at all times. Once described as Tinkerbell on acid.
Failure is key
In my 20s I’ve failed a lot – jobs, relationships, friendships. I’ve made a lot of mistakes – and I’ve owned up to them.
And I’ll keep failing
I’m starting to realise that failure is vital. I need to fail. When things seem like they are majorly fucking up, I always remember a quote from Thomas Edison – who I think invented the light bulb?
He said: ““I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Reckon I’m on at least 9,000 now. I’ve got to be nearly there.
But I’ve learned a lot
Without failing, how will I ever learn?
I’ve learned how to empathise
A few years ago if somebody did something I didn’t like, I would have had a raging tantrum and then cried because things weren’t going my way. But now, I try to understand why people do things – and why I don’t like it.
However, there are some things I will just never understand
Human behaviour is unpredictable, and I’ve learned that you can’t control what other people think, what other people say, or what they do – you can only react – so make that count.
I like gin way too much
Pink gin, rhubarb gin, Hendricks, Bloom, Bombay. Bathe me in gin and drown me in tonic. Gin is the only spirit that works for me. Vodka turns me into a lunatic, wine makes me cry, but gin just hits my sweet spot.
The thought of having a child terrifies me
I see girls my age with children and wonder how they do it. The thought of being responsible for a tiny human being terrifies the hell out of me. I can’t even make toast without burning it, and it takes me a good 90 minutes to get dressed.
There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ time
When I was 18, I imagined that by 25 I’d be engaged, living with the love of my life, in our own house, with a cute dog.
That didn’t quite go to plan
But I’ve realised there is no limit on time, things will happen when they are supposed to, you’ve just got to let it be.
My circle got smaller
I also don’t have half as many friends as I did when I was 18, but the friends I do have are really valuable. They’ve stuck around from the beginning and will stay in my life forever.
Uni students don’t realise how easy uni is
I see uni students posting about the stress of exams and dissertations and I think ‘I would do anything to be you again’. It’s easy at uni – you either pass or you fail. You know whether you are right or wrong, there is an answer. Things aren’t so defined in the real world.
I spend 75% of my spare time looking at holidays
I want to go to Iceland, Croatia, I want to travel in Thailand, and sip cocktails in the maldives. I want to go EVERYWHERE.
Not Ibiza though. Ever.
The days of wanting to get f*cked up for 7 nights are well and truly over. I want a beach, I want relaxation, I want solitude. I don’t want to be surrounded by wannabe’s sharing a bottle of Laurent Perrier between 10 and taking selfies. *Vomits*
I like doing stuff on a Sunday
Sunday used to be the day I lay in bed with a MASSIVE hangover crying as I watched Titanic for the 15,000 time.
Now, I’d rather wake up not feeling like a slug that’s just rolled in salt, and actually do something awesome.
I no longer think taking a photo of my Pret a Manger lunch is cool
Paying £6 for a takeaway sandwich does not impress me, it offends me. Now, I’d rather take my own lunch to work and save up to go on one of the 15 holidays I’ve mentally planned – either that or buy a nice candle.
And people who take selfies with dog filters are ridiculous
I don’t even need to explain this one.
Wearing tiny skirts doesn’t make you sexy
I’m all in favour of the phrase ‘If you’ve got it, flaunt it’, and I’m not shy to show a bit of leg. However, I no longer think women need to wear a tiny skirt and a low cut top to be sexy. The glamour model era is over. Intelligence is sexy, humour is sexy – bleach blonde hair and double D’s aren’t essential.
And wearing six inch heels is a definite no no
I remember when I was 17 and went to my first night club. I wore the highest heels I could find, and I could not walk in them to save my life. My knees were bent, and my toes were crushed, and I took them off by 1am.
Pass me a pair of pumps and let me have a good time. High heels are now saved for nights that require minimal walking.
Living for the present is the best thing to do
I used to get hung up on the past and worry about the future. At 26, I realise that I can’t change the past and I can’t predict what;s going to happen- but what I do today will shape tomorrow, and what I do next week will effect next month. It’s all about taking each day as it comes, and enjoying every moment while you still can.
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Love Hol x